“How’s the weather up there?”
I am incessantly self-conscious of how I tower over my friends. They don’t even think twice about their height.
I am 181.5cm. Yes. I know I am tall.
But I am also Smart and Beautiful and Funny… being tall isn’t my only personality trait.
And the entitlement to judge another needs to stop.
As a society, we have constructed a beauty standard that forces conformity or isolation. Even though the modern day community has had more advocacy and representation of body size and race, the commentary of a woman’s height is often portrayed as a positive remark, dismissing how it can reform their perspective and confidence.
I’m not the only one beaten down by your obsession with my height. My friends who stand above the average height of their peers can confirm their insecurity of their stature. This is often because, around adolescent, kids often look to belong in a group. When and why did I stop bragging about being taller, and start trying to shrink myself? When did you start thinking it was okay to blatantly state other’s features? This is because the common consensus is to conform to what our peers look like, helping us blend in with those around them.
“Wow! You’re…tall.”
“Do you play basketball?”
“How tall are you?”
“You’re like, taller than my dad!”
“With those long legs, you could model!”
These are direct quotes of what I hear on multiple occasions. These tall phrases are constant reminders of an uncontrollable factor that pinpoints them as different.
A tall woman is not desirable by society’s beauty standards, unless seen as a flawless model. Bella Hadid, all time super model and epitome of success and beauty. Rebecca Lawseron, 6’1”, an absolute stunner. I am just tall. This is because commonly, femininity is associated with being petite, both by width and length.
I feel like my height unravels my femininity.
My height should not diminish my confidence nor define me as who I can be and what I can feel, yet it has the absolute power to do so. The day that starts with flourishing confidence is easily stripped away with a simple, pernicious mention of “tall”.
I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT!
The perpetual utterance of the feature constructs a mindset that is hyper-aware of my body and the eyes of those around me, warping my perspective beauty creates issues with constant comparison, confidence, and envy of those who “fit”. I mean, ask your tall female friend how many times they are made aware of their heightened perspective, how many times they jut the hip, round the shoulders, and do the squat – day in and day out hold the breath and slouch.
Think about it. Do you ever receive comments about yourself or observe someone else’s stature when it is indistinguishable from the individuals around you? No. That would be odd.
“Well, you’re average height, aren’t ya?”
Even though the comments are often delivered with desire or a positive insinuation, the commenter forgets that if comments of my, or anyone’s for that matter, appearance is all I hear, it limits my perception of demeanour. Now, why does it matter? Who cares about height? It matters because it is a direct reflection of how our society is vain in appearance and isolates those who differentiate from the unconverted beauty standard. The standard form of feminine beauty: plush lips and long lashes and luscious hair and a symmetrical face and a petite body and… Society has long enjoyed associating a woman’s appearance with her worth. The male gaze has created a “beauty box”. I am contorting my body to fit into YOUR box. I want to stand and hold my head tall, without it sending out a beaker for statements. We should not let the world define how we feel and steal our confidence just because we stick out from the rest.
In all honesty, the weather up here is phenomenal.
Humanity seems to have a constant need to compare and attain attributes that cannot easily gained. Are we never satisfied with who we are?
Head tall.
Shoulders back.
And I’LL decide what I want to stand out for.